ENKINDLER

Her

She stirs

I conjured her, I’m sure…

Her

She stirs

Her love is a blur….

Imagine a red cloud
of energy so pure
shaped magnetically with
a natural cure
placed unspoken
from lips unbroken
hands churning a spiral
heaven bound
Desires known from
destinations previously unbound
grace displaced gently in
proper measure
Wisdom from the womb confounds
such merciful treasure
guide my steps as I walk
with - her.

Thank you, for her.

For my wife Kristine

published in 2009 in December issue of

The Spinning Compass

A Wandering Rose publication

admin Lyrics, Poetry

These are the story lines…

that repeat throughout the history lessons of my mind,

as I battle to earn my self determination

to wage war for control of my will

to settle with silence

to realize Silence

is worth all that nature brings naturally

with instant delivery

and perfect precision abundantly

Do thoughts create reality or does the creator purge a portrait of what has already been?

admin Blog This!, Lyrics, Slam Poetry

Sad Day

I have lots of recollections
of people I have known
and how they were and have become
and how they’ve lost their homes
It’s such a sad, sad day
when we give up
the only thing we ever
really had
When I was homeless
I looked into their eyes
what I saw was love and hope
for it was untruth that they despised
Sold a mansion for a penny
and a river for a dime
When I asked them to come back
they say they just don’t have the time
It’s such a sad, sad day
When we give up
the only thing we ever
really had
I remember when we lived together
and how we shared everything
we had our dreams laid out
of promises we’d sing
But then you sold your promise
for a cheap thrill in the night
You sold yourself to blindness
traded glory for your sight
Maybe I’m to blame
’cause I knew what we had
I should’ve let you know it
and maybe I wouldn’t be so sad
It’s such a sad, sad day
when we give up
the only thing we ever
really had

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Flail

I can’t say there is much
in life that I regret
Yet it seems like there’s
so much I’m trying to forget
Don’t believe in guilt
Yet it haunts me just the same
Hold onto my pride
still I can’t escape the shame
It seems like we spend
our lives trying to create
the childhood we feel
we never had or don’t appreciate
Opened up my heart
to set you free
Holding on to you is
burning the inside of me
Still I hold on to love
In the hope of gladness
Still I hold onto love
though it only brings me madness
Somehow I have the faith
to believe
somehow without deserving
I receive

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Crimson Rose

From mischief into innocence
Innocence to purity
then trial and temptation came
and not all sins hurts the same
But our love is like a Crimson Rose
washed white in holy fire
Our love is like a Crimson Rose, burning with desire
So many ups and downs
So many blacks and whites
from purity to a Crimson Rose
a painted face was all that showed
Shattered mask and sad, sad face
was all that sin left me to embrace
But our love is like a Crimson Rose
wash white by the blood of Christ
Our love is like a Crimson Rose
made white by its creator
still often torn by this world
reconciled by its sustainer
Still moving forward inch by inch
We’ve lost the sense of innocence
but deeper and deeper our love remains
Kept pure from crimson stains
Our hue is like a Crimson Rose
wash write in holy fire
Our love is like a white rose of hope
burning with desire

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Anorexia (Ignorexia)
Bottle fed at 15 through the
lips of a skeleton
I hope I never make you feel
that way
To be fed at 17 she’ll surely
not live past 7 months
I hope I never make you feel that way
What we’re doing to our children
could make me not want to eat
If its not about the food
then what’s it all about?
67 pounds and the face
of a starving angel
so thin you could see the
demons that waged war on
her soul
81 pounds as you fought back
and you’ll make it I’m sure
but you’ll never gain the self respect that’s been
stolen along the way

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THis is dedicated to those who continue to fight Cystic Fibrosis

The time we spent together wasn’t
always the best, though we tried
to appreciate  every minute

just that much more

When you were born I wanted so
very much more than you could ever want even for yourself

And in your time spent here you brought
so much joy  to others

beyond anything I’d ever known exist anywhere else

much more than any other one I’d ever loved

And the first time you said it,
I thought I’d died,  Sixty-Five Roses
Sixty-Five Roses, Fighting to stay alive!

Picked by God’s hand for you
Though it’s hard to see right now
He has a plan for you,

you’ve got to hold on somehow..

Sixty-Five Roses, Sixty-Five Roses

You are forever in our memories…

I Can see your smiling face,

Your hair pulled back like Madonna,

brilliant artwork scattered portraits

taking treatment to the last days…

I Can see you now in paradise,
in a garden of roses

Dancing amongst Holy Spirits in a garden of roses..

Sixty-Five Roses, Sixty-Five Roses
And on the day you left us
I cried so hard,
I remember your body scant and pale
your hands cold and damp,

Yet your love and hope

still shown through
Your eyes - your face

as they always had,

Your lips, I remember the words like yesterday

as we laid

Sixty-Five Roses

at your grave,

Sixty-Five, Sixty-Five Roses

This song I wrote in 1998 after a patient of mine and good friend had passed away, some of the words are my own, some hers,  some I heard spoken first by her close friends. “Sixty-five Roses” is often how children diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis pronounce their disease. CF is a genetic disease for which there is now hope on the horizon to cure.

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You Just Can’t Get That High

You’ll pour it in all fast then slow
in hopes you’ll make it as you go
Your lips are pursed as your breath in
in hopes that you’ll start to begin to let go
You’ll suck it in again and again
in hopes that you can soon forget
all the things that you been through
the things that keep you wake at night
all the things that you can’t release
You just can’t get that high
You just can’t get that high
The pain you’ve held will
make you bleed
Don’t fear to cry, Don’t fear to need
If you try to cover up
all the hurting that’s filled your cup
It will spill all over you
Getting high until your blue
in the face
You’ll pour it in all fast then slow
in hopes that you can make it go
Your lips so pursed as you breath in
in hopes that you’ll start to begin
to cover up the pain
that’s been driving you insane
All the things that keep you up at night
that you’re trying to forget
You just can’t get that high
You just can’t get that high

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Siamese

I’m the man with two heads
One is like a dragon
you’d try hard to hide from
breathing flames from it’s rhine
The other is full of freedom
playing like a child all the time
If not for the connection between
them they’d prosper in their ways
to the bond between them each crumbles in the wake
How can we be happy when one of us is sad
How can we be sad when one of us is glad
Usually the highs are higher
and the lows too low too tell
but the highs keep getting lower
and the lows seem much more real
One beckons to the other
would you come my way
Bludgeon me and you’ll be free
and end the dread today
I can hear you calling me to
come and end it
I can feel the darkest cold
part of me wants to befriend it
My shoulders are so burdened
a yoke of chants and hollers
both torment the soul of my deepest blue waters
I’m the man with two heads
I’m the man with two heads

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Force of Nature

Put your hand upon my head
and tell me what I’m thinking
Put your hand upon my heart
and tell me what I’m feeling
Your touch has healed me
many times before
like the waves that crash
on the seashore
creating newness on the face
of the waters edge
So much sifting in the
shallowness
Bringing substance to the surface
for which the gull will feed
Your hand upon my soul
is what I need
It’s all so simple when you
say it, so hard to do
when you walk out in the ocean
the forces that oppose you
oh the forces that oppose you
are the same that change you
the forces that oppose you
how they will consume you

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